Three Things Women Don't Know About Men

When dealing with relationships, women are very thoughtful. By thoughtful, meaning full of thoughts and ideas. In other words, women use their brains to "think through" their intimate encounters. Studies show that a greater percentage of women will leave a relationship if they feel that their significant other does not love them anymore. However, a greater percentage of men will leave a relationship if they fall in love with someone else.

This is a big difference in the way each gender thinks about relationships. Women are more considerate and thoughtful--using their minds, while men are more impulsive and raw--using their hearts (also referred to as genitals). Not to say that either way is more correct than the other, just to say that the first step to increased harmony is the realization of this fact.

Here are three facts about men that may come as a surprise to most women.

1 - Men Only Need Minimal Details

Many women like to explain every fact, figure, and manipulation for every subject, no matter how relevant/irrelevant. In addition to this, women prefer to listen to dialogue in this manner. This presents a problem because men rarely converse in this manner, barring excitement. But women usually speak this way, regardless of mood. This leads to frustration on both sides. As a general rule, when speaking to men, listen for their questions, then expound (minimally) on that topic. If they want to know more, they will ask another question. If the man does not ask any questions, he may not be interested in what you are talking about, and it may be a better idea to ask him a question instead. This gives him a chance to introduce what's on his mind. Be aware that the way in which women ask questions can also irritate a man.

TIP: Do not ask a man "What if...?" instead ask "Do you think...?" It may be subtle, but what if? questions can be interpreted as pointless questions that may never occur, whereas do you think? questions force you to consider the question as though it would happen in the future. Men respond better to questions of this sort. However, women prefer to entertain what if? thoughts over do you think? questions. This is a slight, but pivotal difference between men and women.

2 - The More A Woman Trusts A Man, The More She Will Be On His Mind

This mostly applies to when men spend alone time with "the fellas" or even in solitude. Men like women who are caring, but can also bear inattention. If you get upset over too much inattention, it shows the man that you care about him, and this is a good argument to have. But if you get upset over one or two nights out with the guys, he will interpret that as jealousy and/or neediness, which are two unattractive qualities to men. Instead, encourage the man to spend time with his friends, an indication of the trust you have for him. On top of this, spend some alone time with your friends while waiting for his return. If the man gets upset at you spending time with your friends, it would show his lack of trust for you, something that should be addressed and worked on over time.

TIP: After his night out, do not ask "What did you guys do...?" or any other form of the question, instead ask "How was it...?" and allow the man to respond from impulse. Be cautious of trying to probe beyond the answer he gives, especially if he gives a short and simple response. If you can show him that you weren't up all night worrying about what he was doing (even if you were), it further demonstrates the trust you have for him. In turn, he may surprise you by going into more detail in the future, even during the same conversation.

3 - Men Slowly Change Their Minds Over Time

Many men will not admit this last one, even when it occurs. The reason is because we are very impulsive. We do not assess our feelings on a daily basis. We may feel a certain way one week/month/year, but may feel completely different later on. The change could be faster or slower, depending on the person/issue. However, most of this change will be internal. Meaning that it will be nearly impossible to notice on the surface. If you want to change a man's mind on an issue, you cannot constantly remind him of the issue because it gives inadequate time for the internal results to take place. Instead, bring up the issue once, and if there is no resolve, simply agree that you guys are having a disagreement. Then let it rest for awhile (6-12 months suggested), then present the issue again as if it never came up. Surprisingly, he may hold a softer position than he did previously. However, I would strongly advise not trying this for every disagreement that arises.

TIP: Men are quicker to forgive and forget an argument than women. Women tend to hold on longer. While the perception of arguing may seem negative, remember that some arguments are necessary for healthy relationships. Yet, many women cause arguments to increase in intensity when they consistently remind the man of the issue, rather than allowing him to forgive and forget.

The best advice: Do not try and "win" a man's heart. Men will slowly open up over time. But the more you try to impress, convince, or change him (using your thoughtfulness and consideration), the more his impulses (and genitals) will be compromised. Try just one of the tips above, and see if you notice a difference.